Breaking the Cycle: Men's Domestic Violence Counseling Strategies

Domestic and family violence (DFV) is a serious issue that impacts individuals, families, and communities across Australia. While much-needed attention is given to the experiences of women and children as victims of violence, it is equally important to focus on the work of supporting men who have used violence — helping them to understand, take responsibility for, and ultimately change their behaviours.

At Hayes Counselling Services, we specialise in providing respectful, evidence-based counselling for men who have perpetrated domestic and family violence. This work is grounded in the belief that change is possible — and that with the right support, men can break free from harmful patterns and develop healthier, more respectful ways of relating.

Why Men’s Behaviour Change Work Matters

Men’s use of violence in relationships often stems from a complex mix of learned behaviours, emotional dysregulation, unacknowledged trauma, and distorted beliefs about power and control. Left unaddressed, these patterns can have devastating effects on partners, children, and the men themselves.

Counselling that is tailored to men who use violence focuses on:

• Accountability: Taking ownership of harmful behaviour without minimising, blaming, or justifying

• Insight: Exploring the impact of violence on others and understanding the roots of emotional and behavioural patterns

• Skills: Building emotional regulation, empathy, respectful communication, and non-violent conflict resolution

• Values-based living: Helping men align their actions with the kind of person, partner, and father they want to be

A Safe and Structured Space for Change

We understand that engaging in counselling after using violence can feel confronting. At Hayes Counselling Services, men are offered a safe, structured, and non-judgmental space to:

• Explore how violence has affected those around them

• Examine their beliefs about masculinity, relationships, and entitlement

• Learn practical strategies for managing anger, jealousy, and control

• Reconnect with a sense of personal responsibility and emotional maturity

This process is not about shame — it's about courage, clarity, and commitment to doing better.

What We Offer

Hayes Counselling Services offers both individual counselling and referrals to group-based programs, depending on the client’s needs and readiness. We work with men referred through Community Corrections, Child Safety, legal representatives, and also those who self-refer when they recognise the need for change.

Our work is trauma-informed, evidence-based, and tailored to suit men at different stages of insight and motivation. We also understand the importance of working in coordination with partner safety specialists to ensure that victim-survivors are supported and prioritised.

Taking the First Step

It takes strength to ask for help — and even more strength to face the impact of one’s actions. If you, or someone you know, is ready to take responsibility and start the journey toward safer, more respectful relationships, we’re here to help.

Hayes Counselling Services is committed to walking alongside men who want to break the cycle of violence — not just for themselves, but for the people they care about most.

Let’s talk. Let’s change. Let’s do better.